Emptiness

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In the August full moon,
London attuned
something special in the air.
Going for a drink elsewhere
after work, reaching the pub
so many people outside …

enjoying the summer sun
meeting him there
hoping for something.
His true colours shining in the sunlight
not seeing clearly with the sun in her eyes
not looking behind the curtain…

A sudden emptiness taking over…
‘What is the point of staying?’
Leaving behind all she cared,
heading nowhere…

‘Luna where are you going…leaving me like this…
without saying anything…?’
Fast catching up …
‘Usually it’s me who leaves people behind’
‘I felt like it, I’ve nothing, nothing to say!’   
‘No, that’s fine, let’s walk…(?)’
‘Let’s walk.’

Nobody saying anything
the white bulb above showing the way
walking along the river under the stars
crossing a bridge
reaching a wine bar
recognizing the stairs…
Stopping right there!

‘Coming down?’

An alarm bell surely rung
So many years had passed
the wine flowing
the mind clouding up…

‘Perhaps you are right, perhaps it’s better you go
you’re not ready after all, you don’t know!’

Temptation on the threshold
not knowing ‘ready’ for what or for whom
the oldest game playing hide and seek
that night since half past six
in the moonlight around the amphitheatre
reaching out for something that was not really there.

‘I’m ready Jack, I feel I am’
‘Well, you better show me!’

On the Northern line
all the way to Highgate
down the main road
into the tunnels below
the trap had been laid so…

Slowly, skilfully, dangerously
the smell so powerful
all senses opening up wide
animal like
and into the darkness…

In the morning running away
from where and from whom…?
Could only describe it in poetry
wishing for that pen from Long Ago…

Walking along the embankment in reverse
her own mind tricking her
thinking she met a man she thought of knowing
along the road he took her under
she knew he was trying to tell her
something
but she passed along without looking
and locked the gate on her way out.
 
Back at work a telephone call
a sudden awareness
a sliver of light
soon gone
a chill in the night
something missing
a memory lost
nothing left
but emptiness…

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